the deep, dark, eerie place that I tend to hide in about this time of year.
I’m not getting any hours at work, I’m neglecting school, and my friends all have awesome jobs and better things to do than hang out with me.
There are long periods, sometimes even several months, when I feel like I might actually be able to make something of myself and make my family proud…but then comes the crashing realization that no matter how hard I try, I always disappoint everyone who matters the most to me.
Now is one of those times when I feel like just giving up, and giving in to all of the sick, demented and (sometimes) deadly thoughts that I have when everyone thinks that I’m so happy because I’m always smiling….
It’s amazing what a fake smile can hide.